A Countdown To Yuffie
by Carbuncle
Summary: Yuffie has finally matured... yeah, right.


FINAL FANTASY VII  
  
Countdown to Yuffie  
  
"Morning..." Yuffie groaned, as she woke up. She wiped the fatigue from her eyes, kicked the blankets off the bed, jumped out and made her way to the kitchen. "Ahh... I can't believe I'm finally 17. Heh, I'll be able to do all the cool stuff like... like the stuff I couldn't do when I was sixteen. Hmm, I wonder what those idiotic, dysfunctional bunch of friends o' mine are plannin' for my birthday. Aw man, they're probably gonna throw me some big ass party! Woo hoo! Today is gonna be mega!"  
  
  
"So, we got anythin' planned for today?" Barrett asked.  
  
"Not that I know of," Cloud said. "Tifa?"  
  
"No, I think today's a lazy day," Tifa slurred.  
  
"Oh, that's cool." Cloud smiled and stretched himself out on the couch. "I love lazy days."  
  
  
"Yeah... I'll bet they're preparin' for the big night right now!" Yuffie squealed.  
  
"Happy birthday, Yuffie." A voice came from behind her. She turned around to see her father Godo.  
  
"Dad?!?!" Yuffie exclaimed. "Well, I didn't expect to see you today, old timer."  
  
"Can't a father visit his only daughter on her special day?"  
  
"Yeah, that's usually the thing to do, but, uh, you and me don't exactly get on," Yuffie said.  
  
"You know I never let family grudges get in the way of birthdays," Godo mumbled. "What kind of man would that make me?"  
  
"...An asshole?" Yuffie wondered.  
  
Godo laughed, then frowned. "Go to your room."  
  
"Heh, sorry, old man," Yuffie begun, "but I'm seventeen years old now. You can't tell me what to do anymore."  
  
"Yes, I can!" Godo snapped.  
  
"Change the record, Dad!" Yuffie yawned. "Now you better make yourself scarce. My friends are gonna be here soon to throw me a party, and we don't want no grown-up farts like you crampin' our style!"  
  
"No, that's Cid's job!" Red XIII said, as he made a brief cameo.  
  
"Alright, fine." Godo pulled out a package from behind his back. "But first allow me to give you this."  
  
Yuffie stared at the package, quizzically. "What is it? Is it a box?"  
  
Godo handed her the package. "It is your very own box!"  
  
Yuffie sighed. "Why in the hell would I want a box?"  
  
"You can put things in it. Things like materia."  
  
Yuffie suddenly perked up. "Is there any materia in this box?!"  
  
"No." Godo shook his head.  
  
"...you bastard," Yuffie muttered under her breath, as Godo left the house.  
  
Meanwhile, back over at Seventh Heaven...  
  
"Oh my God!" Tifa shrieked.  
  
"What?! What?!" Cloud panicked. "Did Aeris die?! Huh?! Is Aeris okay?!"  
  
"No, Aeris is fine, Cloud," Tifa said, "but I just remembered that it's Yuffie's birthday today!"  
  
"Holy crap!" Cloud yelled. "We totally forgot!"  
  
"...I didn't," Barrett said. "I just kept quiet 'cause I didn't wan' us to throw the little hussy a party."  
  
Aeris shook her head in disgust. "You're cruel, Barrett."  
  
"Can I blow her brains out?" Barrett asked Tifa.  
  
"No," Tifa grumbled.  
  
"Gosh, poor Yuffie," Cloud sighed. "I can't believe we forgot her birthday. What're we gonna do?!"  
  
"Relax!" Tifa said. "We'll just buy her a card."  
  
"A card?!" Aeris choked. "That's even worse than the electric razor you bought me for my birthday!"  
  
"Aeris, we didn't buy you an electric razor for your birthday!" Cloud flinched.  
  
"You didn't?!" Aeris said. "Well, why not?! You know I wanted one!"  
  
Barrett cocked his gun-arm. "I'm seriously considerin' endin' her life..."  
  
Tifa took hold of Barrett's arm. "No!"  
  
Two days later, back in Wutai...  
  
"Well, well, well," Yuffie said, "if it isn't my self-centered, only care about themselves, dumbass, self-centered friends! What the hell're you all doin' here anyway?! You missed my birthday by about 56 hours!"  
  
"We're really sorry, Yuffie," Tifa said.  
  
"Yeah, it won't happen again!" Cloud laughed nervously. "But hey, look at all the cool presents we bought you!"  
  
"What cool presents?!" Yuffie growled. "You haven't got any cool presents!"  
  
"Yes, we have." Cloud pointed up to the roof. Aeris was up there with a huge bag of gifts. "Aeris was gonna sneak 'em through the chimney, like Santa Claus on Christmas Eve."  
  
"Ooh," Yuffie gurgled. "Those are all mine?"  
  
"Sure are!" Tifa giggled. "Hurry up and put 'em down the chimney, Aeris!"  
  
"I AM hurrying!" Aeris shouted from above. She stuffed the bag down the chimney. "Ah, darn, its gotten stuck! Hold on, I'll fix this!"  
  
Aeris then climbed into the chimney and began to leap up and down on the bag inside. It gave way and she fell to the bottom.  
  
"Oh... shoot." Yuffie put her head in her hands. "I sure as hell hope she didn't crush the presents..."  
  
THE END__________ 


End file.
